For seven years I did not see Meva, though I heard her name in passing. I did not love her, because I did not know her by name, but I loved her presence in the universe, her person. Even if she knew me, she could not love me, for I was unlovable. Back in the mine, she was spared the worst of me. Though Meva would come to be the focus of my desire, my attraction to her could not be expressed by the brute that I was. I was but a few steps up from an animal, yet my desire for her was beyond anything else I knew or loved. It was worship.
I was raised in a Blank Mine. Blanks are slices of rock, which are held to the forehead so a thought can self-scribe onto the surface. When a blank has been scribed it is called a Thought Rock. Some are more valuable than others. Thoughts usually come with greater meaning when they are scribed on a blank.
The laws of our civilization are inscribed upon a series of blanks. The best Thought Rocks are displayed in museums and studied. Whole libraries full of Thought Rocks are preserved and handed down, for future generations to enjoy. In threat of war, Thought Rocks are moved underground, or protected by armies.
While Thought Rocks are important, mere blanks are considered mundane. They are inexpensive to mine, in part because the labor to mine them is cheap. It is the task of the lower class to dig them out of the ground. Because I have no honorable blood in my line, I was given no education, and no other option for work, I was destined to be a Blank Miner. I am Tzurk.
The foreman of the Blank Mine was a broad shouldered, ambitious, loud man named Jockson Reckson. It was he who told us where to dig, and for how long. His favorite miners were given Top Level duty. I was not his favorite, but my productivity was of importance to him. Top Level duty meant we were digging at the highest level of the mine, and usually got to see light at least four times a day, when the haul of blanks were taken to the surface. And we got to sleep above ground in tents, while crews from other levels had to sleep in the mines.
I had worked my way up from the lowest levels of duty to finally gain a place among the Top Level. Jockson Reckson liked having me there because the yield increased when I joined, and he could trust me even when he wasn’t watching.
This is when I first saw Meva.
Jockson Reckson was far braver than I, and his blood superior to mine. He came from an intimidating level of education and power, so of course she would willingly be his. Every day he would come to work and speak of the beautiful Meva. At first I was disinterested. But the more he talked of her, the more my interest grew. Still, I had not yet seen her.
Then one day, when I was near his office alone and unwatched, I decided I would sneak a look at the Thought Rock with her image that Jocksen said was upon his desk. I remember the day well, for it was the pivot on which the rest of my life turned. It was the moment I discovered love.
The office was dusty and cluttered with piles of Thought Rocks. Natural light streamed in through a single hole in the ceiling, a perk of being a foreman of this mine. And bathed in that light was the Thought Rock with Meva's face inscribed upon it.
I was like a creature waking from hibernation. I stood stunned, unable to move. Her beauty was beyond anything I could ever have thought. I would have gladly given a thousand days in the surface light to meet her face to face. Her features were wondrous. I studied every detail.
Approaching footsteps interrupted my trance. I put the slate back on the desk and pressed my back against the wall behind a stack of Thought Rocks. Jockson Reckson entered, walking right past me. He went to a stack of Thought Rocks at the back of the office and began searching through them. In his moment of distraction, I fled unnoticed.
Borox, my tent mate, always slept with his eyes open, so it seemed like he was staring at me. This disturbed me, but that night I didn't even notice.
They say that working in the Blank Mines puts blank particles into your body. Some say blank particles soak into the skin via pores. That would explain a lot, because Meva’s face was inscribed into my mind as if my brain was a blank, and the image of her has not faded since.
The next morning, we were back to mining on Top Level duty, but I could not concentrate on carving blanks from the rock walls. My heart was still on that image of Meva. In a moment of passion I threw down my tool and leaned against the wall of the mine. I told myself to stop thinking of her. After all, I did not know her, and she would never know a thing like me!
At that moment, the image of Meva etched itself into the mine wall before me! I looked to either side, terrified that a fellow miner had seen it. But my crew was working a little further down the shaft, and no one was looking my way. Quickly, I cut the image of Meva from the rock and tucked it into my pocket. But I was not to be so lucky. Another image of Meva inscribed itself into the blank cave wall, but this time it was eight heads tall! There was no way I could hide it!
To my horror, images of Meva scrawled all over the walls and ceiling of the cave. The members of my crew cried out in shock when images of Meva appeared in front of them. I was terrified of what Jocksen Reckson would do to me. But the sheer number of images saved me. It was impossible to tell who was responsible because they were everywhere, even in front of Jocksen Reckson! I regained my head and feigned ignorance. "What's going on?" I asked.
Jockson Reckson threw his stool in rage. Not only was one of us obviously thinking of his gal, but of the day's yield of blank rocks was ruined. "Who did this?" He screamed. All eyes went down. No one spoke. He repeated the question. Again, there was no response. I feared him too much to tell the truth. In a fit of jealous rage, Jockson Reckson switched the entire Top Crew with the lowest crew in the mine, The Ditch Mongers! Ditch Mongers saw the light of day once a month, at best. They slept in the mine in sleeping bags, because the eight-mile walk to the surface would take up too much of the workday. We had nothing but old dirty sleeping bags to warm us in those dank caves.
It was on the first night in the deep caves, while I lay in my sleeping bag, that I discovered the Thought Rock of Meva I had tucked into my pocket. I had forgotten it. But now, it warmed me in a way that the light of day could not.
And now, more than ever, I wanted to see her, face to face.